tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91647805316156321832012-02-16T03:37:54.791-06:00Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.comBlogger2211100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-1282555921545507772011-10-21T17:16:00.000-06:002011-10-21T14:18:07.355-06:00

The cleaners at work have switched cleaning products. They used to use a blue toilet bowl cleaner. You’d use the washroom in the morning and the water would be a bright turquoise. It was like urinating in the Caribbean. Now the waters are a pale yellow. Every morning I walk in, look down and think “who the hell didn’t flush… and why didn’t they wipe their ass?!” I miss Jamaica.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-20204656593949500332011-05-03T17:10:00.001-06:002011-05-03T17:10:53.508-06:00

Because I can say this:And, upon announcing my safety, get this:

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-50387031201849958332011-03-30T19:25:00.000-06:002011-03-30T19:26:01.560-06:00

I was at the coffee shop today when the woman in front of me handed her to-go mug to the woman behind the till and said "I'll get a refill". The coffee shop worker then asked, in apparent disbelief at what it was the woman was wanting,"what?", to which the woman simply stated "a refill". "A refill of what", said the worker. "Coffee", said the woman with the to-go cup. "Cream or sugar?", came

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-2552422374385087182011-03-27T08:43:00.002-06:002011-03-27T08:43:35.498-06:00

I've never understood people who fall asleep at work, probably because I don't fall asleep easily, but I'm pretty sure there are some jobs where you just shouldn't be caught sleeping on the job. Like air traffic controllers. Or this guy:

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-8876365466035348122011-02-16T23:09:00.000-06:002011-02-16T23:10:37.082-06:00

It's what... the 40th season of Survivor?!? How is it that contestants are still showing up on the island wearing nothing more than their underwear or Armani suit? Do they pick these people up at work or the tanning salon? Surely they must have some notice. I mean, really... A suit? You deem that as appropriate attire for a jungle adventure? And to the dude in the poorly fitting, faded red

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-14479258011246876712011-01-17T19:30:00.000-06:002011-01-17T19:31:17.996-06:00

I don't get pinatas. I mean, I understand the allure of anything full of candy. Really, I do. But if I were a kid (and I think we might all agree I am) I don't think I'd want to be the one to break open the pinata. Because, hello, by the time you realize what's going on, take off your blindfold and orient yourself in relation to said candy all the other kids have already grabbed most of the

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-43671251010135028122010-11-16T19:42:00.006-06:002010-11-16T22:07:14.882-06:00

Dear Woman at the bookstore: I couldn't help but notice your toddler was throwing a tantrum because she didn't want to put her coat on. Mind you, neither could the 10 people in line behind me because SHE WAS BLOCKING THE TILLS. I understand the sensitivity of the situation while you try to bribe your daughter with the promise of super at McDonalds and a Happy Meal Toy, all the while reminding

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-43960683384397048492010-10-25T19:03:00.002-06:002010-10-25T19:05:40.235-06:00

Do fish drink water? I mean they have gills to breath and they use their mouths to eat but do they get thirsty? Because if they do it's highly convenient for them, given the fact they're in water and all... but also? Kind of gross. I wonder if they ever think about the fact they, and their counterparts, poop in the water they breath... and drink?On that note... Do fish pee? And also? Why do

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-54403973856336342552010-10-21T18:52:00.001-06:002010-10-21T18:52:18.112-06:00

Tonight I am doing what no 32-year-old woman should do... I'm going to a hip hop dance class. Rest assured, I'm doing it for the exercise, not for the fame. However, should I be cast in a music video than so be it. Although that seems rather unlikely, given the fact I'm so anti-coordinated that I tend to trip on patterned carpet (why do they put those lines there, yo? It's all 3D-ish, it

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-9021945275396158302010-09-22T21:40:00.001-06:002010-09-22T21:43:04.378-06:00

Now that I have an iPhone my productivity has greatly increased. Not only can I tweet from the grocery store I can tweet from EVERY. SINGLE. AISLE. of the grocery store (fun for all, I'm sure). I can blog from the book store (perhaps I should really focus on actually making my purchases) and have in-depth conversations with friends, from the comfort of my desk, on such hot topics as world peace

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-70359816831213331162010-09-20T19:37:00.003-06:002010-09-20T19:54:29.262-06:00

Dear Betty White:I love you. Really, I do. But the old lady sex jokes? Got old (pardon the pun) approximately 4,325 jokes ago. I get it, you're hip. But, honestly? I liked you better when you were cute, not 'sexy'. I liked it when you were grandmotherly, not whorey. And I miss thinking of you as a Golden Girl, instead of a Skanky Skank. You were endearing. Timeless. And I really wanted

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-91599750397181681922010-09-09T19:35:00.003-06:002010-09-09T19:39:00.063-06:00

Dear Cafeteria Staff: When I bring what I think is a tasty treat to the register and it comes up as a dollar please don’t say “a dollar?!? Those things are gross, you can have it for 60 cents”. I know you mean well and while I’ve never been one to turn down a bargain I find it really puts a damper on my dining experience. And since we’re on the topic of gross, have you tasted your water?!? I

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-5129043054272573062010-07-20T22:45:00.001-06:002010-07-20T22:46:29.090-06:00

I have a scooter. And, yes, I'm in a gang. Our colour? Orange paisley. In my defense, I also have a motorcycle (that makes me cool, right?). Mind you, I haven't ridden it in a while, what with the fear of my brain leaking into my helmet upon impact and all. Oh wait... did I type that out loud?Anywho... scooters are fun! And not just for the obvious reasons like the fact you can fill it for

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-40815792569189523032010-06-26T22:46:00.006-06:002010-06-26T22:55:23.791-06:00

I've been giving this a lot (or too much) thought and I've come to the conclusion that the phrase "I'm going to pee my pants" is really only applicable if you are, in fact, wearing pants.Consider, for instance, the scenario of where I drink a gallon of water, put on a ball gown and start jumping on a trampoline (also known as 'just another Saturday night'). Can I proclaim, 5 bounces later, that

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-38142744342208934332010-06-26T14:47:00.008-06:002010-06-26T15:11:00.519-06:00

You may have noticed (and perhaps appreciated) the fact I'm not around as much. That's because I've been spending a lot of time over here. Hard to believe, I know, but I'm not always funny, witty and endlessly charming (I was going to throw gorgeous in there but I didn't want you to pee your pants... or throw up in your mouth a little bit) so I created a place where I could share all my

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-15613014767917556622010-06-07T17:07:00.000-06:002010-06-07T17:07:20.379-06:00

I just noticed I have huge-ass deodorant marks on my shirt. In mulitple spots. On both sides. How the hell this happened I don't know, as I distinctly put my shirt on in a near inside-out manner this morning to specifically avoid such a situation. I attempted to rectify this the way I usually do, via water. Not the best idea considering, in this germ-phobia world, there are no air dryers in

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-87542804178607539172010-06-04T07:28:00.002-06:002010-06-04T10:41:55.785-06:00

There is a very good chance you might be tired of my bathroom rants. Well that's just too bad. Because I have discovered that out of the 4 bathroom stalls at work only 1 of them has a lock that actually works. So guess which stall I use? Any stall BUT that one because, hello, which stall do you think everyone else uses?!?I must admit, this technique can prove tricky. Especially when wearing a

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-54176779189538858202010-05-13T23:52:00.003-06:002010-05-14T00:17:04.380-06:00

I've been on a streak with the cable TV. In my defence, it's still a novelty for me to have more then 3 channels. Through a PVR into the mix and my TV overload is completely understandable. Lately I've been on a House Hunters kick. I love looking through homes that are for sale (because I'm snoopy) and listening to the thoughts and comments of the potential buyers (because, let's face it, the

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-90055329674978392312010-05-05T23:08:00.002-06:002010-06-04T10:41:24.071-06:00

I have only seen 3 episodes of Glee, one of which was the series premiere. I thought I'd be into it more but I'm just not. Maybe because I like to sing the songs and do the dancing, albeit neither very well. Perhaps if they made Glee for the Wii (patent pending!)...So one of the other episodes? I just happened to have the tv on when a friend was over. The thing is... it's kind of freaking me

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-41252364094352707622010-04-27T18:07:00.005-06:002010-04-27T18:13:00.996-06:00

My foot-in-mouth disease flared up again today. I should really be put on antibiotics or something.My work acquired recycling bins. The ones where you have to sort 'food plastic' from regular plastic and paper from metal. It's actually kind of fun but, then again, I'm actually kind of a geek.Anywho... today at lunch I dropped a disposable coffee cup in the food plastic. But wait... that's not

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-55780077520406073312010-04-21T16:58:00.000-06:002010-04-21T16:58:00.488-06:00

I usually try to avoid wearing black. Partly due to the cat hair such a colour seems to attract but also because my skin has been dry and flakey thanks to some medicated ointment I was using for my ever-so-sexy adult acne. But I ditched the cream. After all, I figured having a blemish (or twelve) was better than people thinking I was in the middle of some sort of dermabrasion or had dandruff.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-68551609591603956242010-04-20T07:47:00.003-06:002010-04-20T15:30:58.564-06:00

Let’s face it… some things are cuter when miniature-sized. Like ponies, marshmallows, chocolate bars and schnauzers. Although, really, a miniature-sized chocolate bar, although cute, is hardly satisfying. Unlike a miniature pony. Do you know, however, what is not cute when in a smaller, more compact version? Centipedes. There is nothing cute about thinking there’s a speck of dirt on your

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-9240362028509518452010-04-12T20:04:00.002-06:002010-04-12T20:27:35.953-06:00

I have it on pretty good authority (my own) that spray margarine is the best thing ever. Second only to Reese Peanut Butter cups, nachos, Edam cheese and bacon.And maybe Matthew Perry.I guess that would make it 6th. Still, not bad considering there are, what, 3,000 things in the world? People... have you experienced liquid butter-substitute in spray form? Mmmm... doesn't that sound delicious?

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-49487999784464790182010-04-04T20:46:00.003-06:002010-04-04T20:48:10.705-06:00

Today I ate my first Peep. I felt I owed it to Undomestic Diva. Plus my leader at Weight Watchers informed me that I could eat an entire box for a mere 3 points. That's like a granola bar, people. And which would you rather have... oat-like bars that horses would eat or man-made sugary goodness in the form of baby chicks?Well let me just say.... I'm not so sure.I've always enjoyed playing

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-27799397210612175962010-04-04T00:35:00.003-06:002010-04-04T01:01:18.878-06:00

Apparently not everyone is familiar with my theory that people can only be good at one thing. And by 'everyone' I mean 'J-Lo' because not only is she hosting Saturday Night Live but she is also the musical guest. I mean would it kill her to share the show with someone else? And by 'someone else' I, of course, mean 'me'.On a seperate note, I had heartburn last night. I was sure I was dying.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-64225760414085835232010-03-30T21:03:00.002-06:002010-03-30T21:10:31.426-06:00

I burnt my tongue at lunch today on a frozen dinner that was, ironically, still frozen... except for the scalding hot morsel I found on first bite. So there I was... having to re-microwave my lunch while waiting for my tongue to peel. It really wasn't my fault. I'm familiar with the instructions. I was fully prepared to microwave for 3 minutes, stir and microwave for 2 more minutes before letting

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-39892109190335297572010-03-24T23:30:00.005-06:002010-03-24T23:51:22.566-06:00

I love her to pieces but I mentioned, in the past, that my cat is an asshole. Ya, well... she's apparently also a pervert. She likes to sit on the toilet and watch me shower.Believe it or not, that's actually not the problem.The problem is the morning. I have a routine. The alarm is set to the radio and, every morning, it goes off mid-song. At which point I savour the last few moments of

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-15556924408297159972010-03-16T21:59:00.002-06:002010-03-16T22:01:54.525-06:00

Why is nighttime the scariest time of day? What is it about the darkness that is so frightening? Why is it that I have had 30-some years of nights where nothing bad has happened and no harm has come and, yet, when the sun sets I fear the worst?I've been trying to nap during the day. I figured I should try to bank some sleep during regular waking hours since I always seem to be awake during normal

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-66811295967023567392010-03-13T11:33:00.006-06:002010-03-13T11:49:46.446-06:00

Yes... that is a reference to the Elvis song. And, yes, that song may (or may not) be on the wildly popular Wii game known as Just Dance. And, yes, when I say 'wildly popular' I may be referring to the fact I'm 32 years old and somewhat obsessed with a game created, I'm sure, with 12 year-olds in mind. But, in my defense, I'm pretty good and this song title kinda pertains to today's post. And no

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-56482197478418429102010-03-09T22:31:00.002-06:002010-03-09T22:47:53.190-06:00

...my one eyebrow requires weekly plucking while the other one needs to be plucked EVERY day?!?!?...I can't sleep in on the weekends but could sleep until noon on days that I work?...every time I see a glue stick I worry about getting it confused with my antiperspirant, even though they’re never in close proximity to each other.…my hair is the easiest to do (and looks the best) the day before I’m

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-71719813780584446462010-02-27T18:57:00.002-06:002010-02-27T19:04:06.117-06:00

Dear Lady Who Sits In Front of Me at Weight Watchers:You are clever, really you are. But not everything the facilitator says requires a comment. Trust me on this one. Because, really, if anyone should be commenting on EVERY. SINGLE. THING. it should be the clever, funny girl with the good comebacks. Otherwise known as... Me. If someone says they have a salsa recipie there really is no need to

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-26280903109781680882010-02-26T07:29:00.006-06:002010-02-26T11:37:47.894-06:00

I'm old enough to have wrinkles. I'm old enough to have grey hair. I'm old enough to have my metabolism be essentially non-existent. And I am apparently old enough for people to casually mention that they know someone who's my age who hasn't had kids and, hot damn, she better hurry up because at "her" age there's not much time left*.But you know what I'm apparently not too old for?Acne.Wonderful.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-76550026370981147542010-02-23T07:25:00.002-06:002010-02-23T11:20:48.629-06:00

If you ever need to make a case against the existence of God the best one is this: I have yet to be struck by lightning. Well that and it doesn’t burn when I walk into a church. At least not much.That being said, should you ever need to make a case supporting the existence of the man upstairs just remember: He spites me. He spites me well.Remember when I joined Weight Watchers to make fun of

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-11048319765487162122010-02-19T13:52:00.000-06:002010-02-19T13:53:24.987-06:00

I made salsa tonight. Which was a joy to make as I have a rather short thumbnail (courtesy of my teeth) that hurts like a sonofabitch. You know what makes a thumb like that hurts less? It is NOT to cut onions. It is definitely NOT to cut jalapenos. And it is absolutely, positively NOT to squeeze the juice out of multiple limes.At least I had the foresight to take my contacts out first. And

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-83790797795144707482010-02-18T12:48:00.002-06:002010-02-18T15:52:41.612-06:00

I was really on a roll at the new job. Not with respect to skills or abilities, mind you, but a roll none the less. Today marks one month exactly since I started my new gig. And while the old job consisted of a 12 person department where I was one of only 4 females the new job has 100 people in my area and I would say a good 40% of them are female. So that’s like, what, 40 bazillion girls?

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-53298715661745371962010-02-15T11:48:00.007-06:002010-02-18T15:52:53.254-06:00

I recently went to a movie. And, while impressive, that's not even the shocking part. I went to Avatar. In 3D. I hadn't seen a 3D movie since renting Nightmare on Elm Street: The Final Nightmare on VHS. Because, surely, 3D works on VHS. I mean, we had the googles so, surely, it would work, right?Wrong.So when Avatar came out I thought it might be interesting to see but didn't consider it the

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-53606656116454545412010-02-10T22:35:00.006-06:002010-02-10T23:01:13.415-06:00

Could it be that my obsession with Matthew Perry has become too much? I mean, really, it started out as nothing more than witty banter between two (pardun the pun) Friends.From there it became a joke that combined my Photoshop Skills with my Facebook Profile. And, just like that, he was dubbed my crush. The thing is, I didn't really like him. At first. And then I thought to myself... well

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-34080226784793825412010-02-08T19:31:00.001-06:002010-02-08T19:31:49.811-06:00

I spent last week in the big city for work. And while I wouldn't considered myself a seasoned traveller I have been around the block a time or two (mostly because I'm just that old). As such, I've made some general observations about being on the road that I feel I should share. You know... out of moral obligation and your relentless curiousity. 1. Hotel shampoo tends to make my hair greasy.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-11064554279137466942010-01-24T21:03:00.007-06:002010-01-24T21:51:38.641-06:00

This weekend some friends and I got on the topic of things you shouldn't say to the Queen. What... is this not a discusion you've had with your friends?!? Well you really should! You may learn, for instance, that you should not ask the Queen to give you an enima. If you didn't already know this, of course. After all, it seems like proper etiquette or, at the very least, a question that might

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-27134248048722116942010-01-21T19:29:00.003-06:002010-01-29T14:52:25.572-06:00

Now that I have cable, I've seen a lot of television ads for phone dating. Now I'm no rocket scientist but I'm fairly certain the girls on the commercial are not an accurate representation of the girls actually on the other end of the phone. Firstly... the girls on the TV are pretty. Which is *precisely* the type of woman who can't find a man through normal channels.Secondly... the girls on

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-60361252443965089272010-01-17T20:15:00.006-06:002010-01-29T14:52:16.242-06:00

So the golden globes are on. I do believe they're being held in a high school gym, what with the stairs for the stage being behind the curtain and all. It also seems that it is being filmed using a hand-held camcorder, circa 1980. Perhaps I'm just bitter. Perhaps I'm just jealous. Perhaps I'm a little from column A... and a little from column B... but I tend to fancy myself an award show

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-26289664884127005272010-01-07T16:00:00.007-06:002010-01-08T23:49:53.650-06:00

When I wrote yesterday's post it was a balmy -28C. (That's -18.4 degrees Farenheit for those of you who are not on the metric system *cough, USA, cough*). I say 'balmy' because apparently Mother Nature is a doucebag (can girls be doucebags? For some reason I tend to think they cannot) and this morning the temperature was -48C. (that's -54F... because Farenheit is silly and becomes colder then

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-14420459575002485622010-01-06T21:34:00.007-06:002010-01-07T16:06:25.683-06:00

It's a tad chilly outside. In fact, the last time it was this cold my pipes froze, my car died and my nipples damn near fell off.That's cold. And graphic.I swear "this will be my last winter" and next year I will move somewhere warmer. It just so happens to be the same threat I've uttered every winter for the last 10 winters. Clearly I'm highly self-motivated, goal oriented and always finish

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-59955377235554960602009-12-30T00:34:00.004-06:002010-02-27T18:55:17.406-06:00

Dear Wii Fit:The ways in which you subtley tell me I'm fat, while clever, are not appreciated. Believe it or not, I do not find the following to be motivating in the least:1. Firstly, thank you for making my Mi pudgey. No, really, thank you. It's very true-to-life and, really, isn't that the highest form of flattery? Or, in this case, flabbery?2. You say step lightly? Is that some sort of jab?

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-69710579368747345062009-12-17T20:56:00.000-06:002009-12-17T20:56:33.314-06:00

I can't raise my hand today. No, it's not because I haven't shaved in months and hair is seeping out of my shirt sleeves. In fact, I recently attempted to self-sugar my armpit. I say armpit because it hurt so freakin' much I never got around to the second one. And I'm okay with that because, besides saving myself the pain, I can now do my own personal research as to whether or not sugaring

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-2024082414413827732009-12-16T07:06:00.001-06:002009-12-16T12:41:33.580-06:00

Shauna had a contest!. At first participants were limited to only US Residents. You know, out of the normal American fear us Canucks will take over their fair land. Come to think of it, that's not so much a fear as it is a fact.So at first my comments were sheer silliness, outlining the harm such discrimination can cause (I think I was emotionally scarred! Never mind the fact it occured long

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-47141083045825676492009-12-10T00:20:00.001-06:002009-12-10T00:22:05.405-06:00

As I prepare to leave for the Vegas Birthday Bash- where I will either make friends with fellow bloggers or spend the weekend in my room knitting (both equally cool options, yes?)- the following observations have been made:While packing, I closed my dresser drawer only to reopen it, thinking, "better bring an extra pair of underwear". I'm not quite sure why this seemed logical, as I don't often

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-6832340667317420772009-12-05T23:23:00.007-06:002010-01-29T14:39:21.660-06:00

This week was a baking week. I blame Jesus for this. Or Christmas but whatever... may as well blame the source.Besides making a second batch of Nuts and Bolts (because the first batch 'mysteriously' disappeared) I helped a friend decorate cookies and built a gingerbread house with my little sister. This batch of bolts seems to be better then the last as far as sodium content goes... I haven't

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-59395403057553769772009-11-29T13:13:00.002-06:002009-11-29T15:03:49.034-06:00

...then pet peeves but what's a gal to do? As such, please find the attached list of things that bug me. And, yes, it may be easier to compose a list of things that don't bug me but that wouldn't be *nearly* as much fun. 1. The fact you can buy a pack of 100 bobby pins use only 4 of them and still not be able to find any of the remaining 96 when you need one.2. Links on websites that open in

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-89004580914354959832009-11-29T00:45:00.007-06:002009-11-29T00:55:52.576-06:00

Currently I can either choose to have adult acne (right... because that's something a person would 'choose' to have) and hope (pfft) to get one of my infamous blemishes which reside on the cusp of my nostril, giving me the appearance of perma-booger or... I can choose to use acne cream that makes my skin so dry I appear to be either mid-Dermabrasion or a cast member from the award-winning,

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-33456681930277126422009-11-24T12:26:00.005-06:002010-01-29T14:40:41.685-06:00

I seem to have misplaced my wit. Disturbing, I know. Although I don't know which is more disturbing... me being witless or the idea of my wit being misplaced, running amuck without me.But, alas, I hate to leave my devoted fans hanging, so I figured I'd post anyway. I mean, really, I don't always have to have a funny and witty anecdote, right? RIGHT?!?!I'm fairly certain the fact I have nothing

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-88010737863538771352009-11-20T12:17:00.002-06:002010-02-27T18:55:34.490-06:00

Dear Dell: If you have a product that is ALWAYS on 'sale' for $799 then, guess what, that is NOT a sale. That is called 'regular price'. You're not fooling anyone, I have been watching your site for 6 months. It's the same 'sale' over and over again. Do me a favor... stop sending me fliers, emails and inserts unless the price ACTUALLY changes. And considering the price hasn't changed I find

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-30088954282264224002009-11-19T20:56:00.005-06:002010-01-29T14:43:38.656-06:00

Tonight I hummed along to some Christmas carols (hey, it was Christmas on Grey's Anatomy... don't blame me... blame them. Besides, Thanksgiving in Canada is in October, it's Christmas time north of the border!). And since my little cousin is staying with me during the week while she goes to school it occurred to me that perhaps I'm not particularly good at humming. So, in an attempt to mask my

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-45474595756331695742009-11-18T23:27:00.006-06:002009-11-18T23:38:29.665-06:00

I'm not one to brag. Really, I'm not! I don't gloat or boast. In fact, I'm usually the first to cut myself down. And if there were a contest for lowest self-esteem I'm fairly certain I'd win. Okay, so maybe I am bragging a little... but can one really 'brag' about being something bad? I'm pretty sure the ugliest person in the world doesn't wear that title like a badge of honor. And the

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-10772979344188078802009-11-14T16:56:00.005-06:002010-01-29T14:44:43.971-06:00

...I should've been a doctor.I have a sore throat. So, of course, I'm having popcorn for supper. Because, really, nothing makes a sore throat feel better then trying to swallow copious amounts of jagged, non-digestible food.Why do people even eat corn? If it can't be digested, why even bother? Sure, a good corn on the cob is tasty every now and then and there's no better excuse for a pound of

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-78998076791393301642009-11-13T19:46:00.005-06:002009-11-13T22:19:33.751-06:00

I went for laser hair removal today. I'm fairly certain the fact I get laser hair removal in the first place is a bit of a blow to my hairy-assed self esteem (that's not to say my ass is hair, I mean... oh forget it). But it does not help matters when the laserist (or whatever they're called) states not once, but twice, "your skin is really dry". Yes, beotch, it's flaking. Yes, I currently

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-64140830741609057472009-11-11T21:35:00.004-06:002009-11-11T21:41:38.703-06:00

I just poo'd. And because my little cousin (hi, cousin!) is staying with me during the week while she goes to school, I figured I'd be considerate and spray some air freshener (oh, please, people... in the words of my mother: "as if your shit don't stink"). I, literally, have a bazillion containers of Febreze Air Effects (what can I say... there was a sale!) so I grabbed the first one and

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-20681547620738278612009-11-09T20:05:00.005-06:002010-01-29T14:49:07.285-06:00

I went for a meander this evening, if for no other reason then the lack of quality programming on TV. My first stop was Starbucks, were I overestimated the size of beverage I needed and grossly underestimated the capacity of my bladder.I then loitered around Chapters (The Canadian equivalent of Barnes and Noble, for you American folk), where I proceeded to spend $10 on something I actually

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-33523898885610104372009-11-09T01:04:00.009-06:002010-01-29T14:49:41.480-06:00

Oh CNN... first you change your layout, thus making me check your website about a bazillionth of a fraction less then I used to. Then you go and post a story on how 'It's good to be George Clooney'? Um... hello... obvious police? I'd like to report a violation!I mean, really, that's like printing a story saying 'Richard Simmons Is Annoying' or 'Nobody likes Rosie O'Donnell'. George Clooney

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-82699073091958270922009-11-07T23:19:00.007-06:002010-01-29T14:50:38.214-06:00

I bought a new pair of black dress pants. Not because I needed them, per say, but because they were on sale and because my current black pants, while still in fine form, are 16 years old.Yes, that's right... if my pants were children, they would be getting their drivers license.So I figured it was probably time to retire them. After all, I find most things should be replaced after 16 years.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-71162938347951250472009-11-05T22:14:00.003-06:002009-11-05T22:18:07.218-06:00

...what have you done?!? First there were the rumors of a series aimed at tweens about Carrie's high school years. Then you put Jennifer Hudson in the first movie (granted, she ended up being okay in a 'if I try real hard, it's like she's not even there' type way but, seriously, a feature film is not the time to be introducing new lead characters!) and now this?!? The only upside is if Miley

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-43673270324151251012009-11-04T12:51:00.010-06:002010-01-29T14:51:00.155-06:00

I know I've ranted about the clothing industry before but it's been almost a year and I really wanted to use the term 'suck it' today so, too bad... here's another rant. First of all, clothing retailer, if you are going to display items, such as sweaters, sans hanger but do not offer a shelf, ledge, chair or any other such place in your change room on which to put said hangerless item I am going

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-68973028050286765992009-11-02T12:44:00.006-06:002010-01-29T14:51:59.123-06:00

1) There's a piece of paper on your fridge that states "Paper Towel, Plastic Wrap, Paper Towel" instead of "Party at Lindsay's, Friday!"2) It requires effort to stay up 'late' to watch TV.3) The 'TV' mentioned in the previous point refers to the 10 o'clock news, not Saturday Night Live.4) Your morning routine involves checking the weather. And commenting on the highs/lows.5) You buy your cereal

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-60194041256189830692009-10-28T07:34:00.004-06:002009-10-28T12:31:49.638-06:00

Don't let this fluffy ball of cuteness distract you from the fact my cat is, without shadow of a doubt, an asshole.After all, who else would manage to wake up an hour before the alarm goes off EVERY morning, regardless what time it is set to, and do the following:1. Deliberately and methodically stand on my head. FYI, asshole, your butt stinks! And, unlike humans of the male variety, I don't

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-70314656141428121262009-10-24T21:59:00.002-06:002010-01-29T14:53:12.160-06:00

Dear Caramels:You are neither soft nor chewy. You are clearly guilty of false advertising. That and you almost broke my tooth because you are hard and impenetrable. Much like my heart, when it comes to you.Breaking up is hard (for you) to do,K.Dear Punk-ass Teenager:You can swear. Good for you! Clearly you have honed this skill through hours, upon hours, of practice. I have mastered skills

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-47169554705327804722009-10-22T21:16:00.007-06:002009-10-22T21:37:24.704-06:00

I have it on good authority that it is not normal to have to pluck one's eyebrows EVERY day. Every day, people! I've asked around... no one else does it. People always say "oh, you're just exaggerating, you don't need to pluck them every day". So I skip a day.. and you know what happens? People can't look me in the eye. Why? Because it's hiding under my overgrown brow!!!I also have it on

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-41769178915743549122009-10-21T22:29:00.007-06:002010-01-29T14:53:37.784-06:00

For the record, if you find yourself in traffic please be aware of the following:1. If you have something between your teeth and your car is suddenly void of dental floss (The horror, I know, right?!?) it is impertitive that you understand the danger of your situation. Because if you choose to substitute floss for, let's say, a gas receipt you may end up removing said lodged food but you will,

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-68759944805246030912009-10-19T19:11:00.017-06:002010-01-29T14:54:01.873-06:00

I think it's fairly well known that I like to share my wit with as many people as possible. I consider it my contribution to society (hey, at least I'm finally contributing). Often, though, when imparting my wisdom and humor on the world I often have to verify that I'm a real person. I'm pretty sure it's because websites think no human being could possibly be so gosh darn amusing so they're

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-9176066676090003712009-10-19T17:51:00.005-06:002010-01-29T14:52:45.665-06:00

Lately I haven't been having much fun at work. Hard to believe, what with it being called 'work' and all, but normally my singing gizmo, drinking bird, monchichis, binary clock and Easy Bake oven are enough to get me through the day. But alas, lately that is not so. One could hypothesize (perhaps with help from a government grant) that a correlation exists between my blog's frequency and

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-82147704276230192642009-10-17T00:58:00.002-06:002009-10-17T12:31:20.838-06:00

Tomorrow morning, while I'm still asleep, someone will tiptoe (or, with my luck and inability to sleep peacefully, stomp) onto my doorstep and collect a bag of food I have put out for the Food Bank, as part of a campaign the city puts on every year.I can almost hear you saying "pray tell, what is in the bag?". Well I'm glad you asked! First, keep in mind that I am a single person the making of

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-11494888571874080922009-10-16T22:24:00.001-06:002009-10-16T22:57:23.721-06:00

I love Starbucks. Really, I do. Even when I notice dust jackrabbits (cuz those ain't no bunnies!) in the light fixtures, directly above the barista station. Even when I wait in line, making myself dangerously late for work, only to find they're out of Chai mix (because apparently they can't write that on the chalkboard people see when they first walk in). And even though everything is '

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-51046975627611552102009-10-14T00:29:00.001-06:002009-10-14T00:29:00.322-06:00

Do you think that, 10 years from now, kids will know what 'clockwise' means? I mean, really, how many old-fashioned, non-digital clocks do you see these days? I can honestly say that aside from my Strawberry Shortcake alarm clock (hey, it was a gift... don't judge) I don't have a single analog clock in my home. When the power goes out I have to phone someone to get the time so I can set my

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-40269240702777277942009-10-11T13:24:00.002-06:002009-10-11T13:26:26.789-06:00

I just went to the bathroom. And while this is undoubtedly fascinating, rest assured there's a story. You see after I did my business (and no, not that business, let's keep this story clean... or as clean as it can be) I inadvertently (that's the story, anyway) glanced down to see... wait for it... a leaf. That's right, a leaf. You know... the things that usually fall from trees, not

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-73460166442625595692009-10-06T22:43:00.002-06:002009-10-06T22:47:27.857-06:00

Some life lessons for my Canadian friends, in honour* of Thanksgiving. And, yes, it may still be many days away but let's pretend I'm ambitious, rather then low on material, shall we?!?1. Eating luncheon meat comprised of turkey (the bird, not the country) is like eating cardboard. Except with cardboard a person at least gets their daily dose of fiber.2. Anything hot, pickled or (if lucky) both

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-71997469023810571642009-10-04T00:08:00.002-06:002009-10-04T00:34:48.089-06:00

I can stick a Tic Tac up my nose with my tongue. Yet, surprisingly, I'm still single. Hard to believe, I know. My feet are so wide that I have contemplating cutting off a toe in order to fit into prettier shoes. Of course I wouldn't cut it off myself, that would be *crazy*. And it would have to be one of the end ones, obviously, and not the big one, given the whole balance issue... but, then

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-27817696325020699872009-09-30T23:31:00.006-06:002010-01-29T13:45:41.738-06:00

Some time after removing my contacts and some time prior to me putting on my glasses I was fairly certain I had a fuzzball on my nose. Number one... who doesn't?!? And number two... how could I be sure, what with the not being able to see and all?!? So of course, being the scientist I am, I decided to investigate further, via the sense of touch (the sense of smell was obviously not strong

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-13230673621465589172009-09-29T16:55:00.001-06:002009-09-29T19:08:24.719-06:00

I'm pretty lucky at work. I have a window office. It really was the luck of the draw. I didn't do anything to deserve my pristine room with a view, I just applied for the job of the fellow who occupied it before me. Sometimes I feel guilty about having an office with a window, real walls and a door but after 15 years of cubicles, wickets and tills the guilt tends to pass quite quickly. Besides, I

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-54657120156078305862009-09-25T18:35:00.003-06:002010-01-29T14:55:26.590-06:00

I was recently out and about (at the grocery store buying cake mix because that pretty much constitutes me being 'out' at this point in my exciting life) wearing a ball cap and flip flops when a horrific thought crossed my mind... am I too old for ball caps and flip flops?!?!? I don't recall ever seeing my mother, grandmother or any variation thereof wearing such attire at my age. Is it

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-16882394224720628622009-09-23T07:41:00.002-06:002009-09-23T07:41:00.325-06:00

When someone is telling you a story about a cowboy it is not appropriate to ask "Is the cowboy a girl". After all, that's implied by the 'boy' part of 'cowboy'.Oops.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-33334973912492796732009-09-21T17:07:00.000-06:002009-09-21T17:09:47.635-06:00

Dear Necklaces: You're so pretty, how could I not love you? I know... because you're assholes. I mean, really, is it necessary that you intertwine yourselves? Even despite all efforts taken to categorize and separate you? It's not like you do it all the time, no. Only when I'm in a hurry. I appreciate that, I do. About the same amount I appreciate the following: constipation, arm hair and

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-22684893007706304772009-09-20T11:57:00.004-06:002009-09-20T12:18:23.657-06:00

When it comes to stupid people I generally find there are 2 varieties. The first is one who tries hard but, deep down, is aware of their own shortcomings. As such they are open-minded, willing to learn (or at least try) and graciously accept the help and knowledge of others. They tend to be sweet, personable and a joy to be around. And it never hurts that they are usually attractive (this is

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-80123068977184452582009-09-17T18:33:00.000-06:002009-09-17T18:33:25.837-06:00

1. The fact that most of the salad dressing in my fridge has an expiry date of 2007 or earlier is a clear indication as to why I'm needing to diet in 2009. 2. Pickles aren't just for pregnant woman. I stand by the notion that when a diet says cucumbers are allowed it implies pickled or otherwise. I'm fairly certain brine locks in nutrition. Right? RIGHT?!? But, oi vey... I can't tell the

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-58799308767328185082009-09-16T21:29:00.003-06:002009-09-16T21:30:51.330-06:00

I have 3 bosses. I like to call them my Supervisor, my Boss and my Boss-Boss. And while this means I'm a mere 4 positions away from CEO (it's only a matter of time, I'm sure) I try not to take it personally that the boss-to-peon ratio is so high. I'd like to think I don't require that much supervision but I'm realistic in the fact that, ya, I probably do.But the real story is that I recently got

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-87785525351997908392009-09-14T23:52:00.003-06:002011-04-09T22:00:09.804-06:00

In 1987 I was 9 years old. (And, no, that is not an open invitation to do the math) My brother was heavily into hockey and every weekend seemed to involve a tournament, fundraiser, birthday party or some other team-related event. And while the boys played and the parents drank, us 'little sisters' occupied ourselves the only way we knew how during that awkward transitional age between dolls

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-51181961803590770432009-09-13T13:17:00.001-06:002009-09-13T13:41:24.568-06:00

And so my quest to make an impression on the world continues... and by impression I mean gouge. The type you have health insurance for.1. Word to the wise... if you have handled anything pickled or raging hot it's best to wash your hands thoroughly before taking out your contacts.2. It is an unwritten law that the hotness of your Caesar will increase exponentially with respect to your state of

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-21388976203244007732009-09-11T23:11:00.005-06:002009-09-11T23:29:15.582-06:00

When meeting new people it's important to remember that not everyone may be familiar with, nor understand, your particular (and perhaps peculiar) sense of humor. For instance... if someone comments on music that is playing responding with "my dad wrote this song" will not only lead to confusion and a complete and utter lack of the laughter you were perhaps hoping for (you might be able to

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-64960445802744316272009-09-10T20:49:00.005-06:002010-01-29T15:01:45.311-06:00

The thing about coffee cups is that while some of them are very large (Big Gulp-ish large, in fact) some of them are very small. Too small. I say this because not only do they only hold a pittance of coffee (or is it an abundance of cappuccino?) but also because when the cup is small so, then, is the handle. So much so, in fact, that while it becomes impossible to insert your hand into said

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-41885777526855737462009-09-09T06:54:00.004-06:002009-09-09T12:58:59.936-06:00

People say "don't sugarcoat it". I say "do". Hello... have you ever tried chocking down a fist-sized synthetic capsule full of cod liver oil? I'd take a sugar coated Advil over those bad boys any day! At least with the Advil when you burp it's not as though a fish just crawled up your throat, from your stomach, and died.And need I mention sour soothers, tear jerkers and Sour Patch Kids?

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-50428666640971889832009-09-05T13:28:00.014-06:002009-09-05T17:03:41.194-06:00

Dearest Marky-Mark: (not formerly part of the funky bunch)I think it's great that you're 6 years younger then I (that is meant to be a general observation, not an open invitation for you to do the math) and have a net worth of 1.5 billion dollars, I do. And while you might be 321st on the Forbes 400 list I'm sure I don't need to point out that, brag as you may, you're on the tail end of said

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-83767773640935769672009-09-02T06:52:00.003-06:002009-09-05T16:12:29.807-06:00

There are nuances of the English language that drive me batty. Correction. There are nuances of people using the English language that drive me batty. For instance... when someone says they have a "new baby" I feel like asking "how many 'old' babies do you have?". I mean, seriously, I think the term "baby" implies a certain newness when it comes to the game called life. The same goes for "

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-31499268099292398932009-09-01T18:24:00.002-06:002010-01-29T15:02:35.346-06:00

Imparting wisdom the best way I can... using my shortcomings as cautionary tales:1. As much as I loathe public restrooms I really should use them more often. On the upside, sneezing has become an adventure sport. Because you just never know...2. Despite the oh-so-true slogan 'Everything Should Taste Like Bacon' there are some things bacon salt shouldn't actually go on. Like ice cream. And

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-59836179699633985212009-08-30T22:09:00.004-06:002009-08-31T09:23:53.923-06:00

I find it amusing that my lotion states, in big orange letters, that it is 'FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY'. And here I thought I had found the cure for a dry cough.

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-90407752628722430772009-08-28T17:02:00.001-06:002009-08-28T17:02:00.230-06:00

I was taking a Microsoft course and every time I logged in I'd see a picture of this dude. For the longest time I had an inkling I knew him from somewhere. One day the lightbulb went off and the connection was made... I DO know him... or at least a relation of some sort:

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-8158396061079023912009-08-26T21:51:00.002-06:002009-08-26T22:02:50.432-06:00

Ya... because I don't already nearly poke out my eye everytime I apply mascara. Can someone say lawsuit?!?

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-39217273669522276032009-08-26T17:06:00.001-06:002009-08-26T17:11:13.459-06:00

Kids today have all sorts of names. Girls have boy names, boys have girl names... and children of celebrities have names belonging to inanimate objects, food products or poorly translated variations of the two... from countries their parents are neither descendants nor visitors of.Back in the late 70's and early 80's, however, things were different. The world was chockfull of Andreas, Leannes,

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-54483348291242042422009-08-25T22:11:00.001-06:002009-08-25T22:12:39.525-06:00

I spent the weekend in Toronto attending the wedding of some friends. Correction. Attending the super fun-tastic meet and greet (where I had numerous raspberry beers), classy ceremony (in an art gallery in a trendy Mill district that contained, not surprisingly, more fruit-flavored beverages), fantastic reception (that had a Salsa band, complete with dance routine by the bride and groom; food

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-32916240133973210352009-08-19T17:38:00.003-06:002010-01-29T15:03:18.688-06:00

I needed a necklace to go with a dress. Despite being told I’m too old for fashion jewellery (cough-jerk-cough) I found a nice strand of bling. To my dismay said bling was $25. Not a huge amount of money, sure, but for something 95% plastic that I’ll only wear once it seemed a bit much. So… I decided to wear a necklace I already have. In order to wear the necklace I already have I needed new

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-76590418233575595912009-08-19T07:02:00.005-06:002009-08-19T12:00:55.762-06:00

I was recently witness to a conversation about a golf club. Not a normally funny dialogue, sure, but I kept wishing that someone would walk into the conversation at precisely the right moment. Perhaps a play-by-play will explain:"So is your shaft long or short?""Long*""And the end... soft or hard?"Now, really, I can't even speak as to what the answer to the last question was because I was

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-68472534400487168672009-08-19T00:13:00.005-06:002009-08-19T09:02:10.467-06:00

It takes me, at minimum, an hour to get to sleep. This is highly convenient for short flights, quick naps and given the fact I typically wake up 2 or 3 times during the night.The thing is... I have NO IDEA how to fall asleep. Why is it they teach such things as long division and the highly controversial 'multiplication table' in school but when it comes to such life skills as falling asleep

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9164780531615632183.post-46768581075259156192009-08-17T22:26:00.004-06:002009-08-17T23:29:01.504-06:00

My car has a stereo. That may not seem like much of a feat but I don't have much luck in the car audio department. Every stereo in every car I've ever owned has died. And these aren't crap cars either (well, that's a matter of perspective and, granted, the 1987 Dodge Charger may not have been high-class but in 1994 it seemed pretty cool. After all, it was a hatchback!). My most recent car

Gilsnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12780164249587772628noreply@blogger.com1